Husband Makes A Bad Call With The Iron

A Polish man has burnt the side of his head while doing housework after mistaking the iron for a phone.

Tomasz Paczkowski, from the northern Polish town of Elblag, is now swathed in bandages after his wife asked him to help with the housework while he enjoyed a few days off work.

"My wife had gone to work," the 32-year old told the Polish newspaper Fakt. "After breakfast I started to work. I turned on the boxing channel on the TV, opened a beer and started ironing.

"I was really getting involved in the boxing and was not really thinking about what I was doing.

"Suddenly the phone rang and I mucked things up.

"Instead of grabbing the receiver I picked up the iron and put it to my ear." Mr Paczkowski said a burning sensation on his ear soon made him realise his mistake.

To compound his misfortune, he hit his head on a door frame while dashing to the bathroom to cool his burn with water. He suffered an injury just above the left eye.

Mr Paczkowski said he would give up watching boxing on the television but would continue to iron.

Stop Scaring The Kids

A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, covering on the closet floor.

"You idiot!" the man says, "My wife is having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

Source: The Telegraph, London