<<Print>>

Dirty socks on the floor, that empty toilet paper roll (again!)�they can become sources of stress that build into real discontent. Add juggling your kids, parents, partner, and job�all during a recession�and it�s no wonder we�re short on fun. It doesn�t have to be that way, though. Our simple do-it-today steps will help you build a strong, happy, healthier family. Fun up family meals We know that eating together can boost achievement in children, lower the chance for eating disorders in girls, and lower depression rates in both girls and boys. But that doesn�t mean meals have to be serious, formal affairs. Simple, humorous rituals are what children remember as adults. Try a monthly �backward day,� serving breakfast for dinner and vice versa, or watch Saturday-morning cartoons together over breakfast. �Silly things that don�t cost a dime will bring you closer together,� says Michele Borba, EdD, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Be the cool parents Creating a welcoming space for your kids and their friends is one of the smartest things you can do, so install a basketball goal and stock up on board and video games and healthy snacks. "As your kids get older, they tend to befriend others with similar values and interests," Borba says. "You can find out a lot about your child by who they hang with." Have an adventure A vacation breaks down the traditional way of doing things. In fact, being in a new place increases dopamine (feel-good chemicals) in the brain, which helps bring everyone closer together, Dr. Haltzman says. Research also shows that people who give (time or money) are happier, he says: "It's important that children learn that they are not the center of the universe and that they can have an impact on the world around them." Volunteer at a local soup kitchen or shelter, Dr. Haltzman says. If time is tight, ask your children to donate a portion of their allowance to a charity of their choice, and tell them you'll match it. No secrets When it comes to your finances, follow the three D's: disclose, discuss, decide. First establish a financial goal (saving for a house, eliminating debt, starting a business). Next, tally up loans, debts, and expenses, and talk about how you can shrink this number. Also, discuss overall spending behaviors and ways to save, and commit to going forward as a family with your financial goal in mind. "You can diminish financial squabbles when everyone is on the same page, and there are no spending secrets," Khalfani-Cox says. Rediscover marital bliss Yes, there's actually a mathematics of blissful relationships, says psychologist John Gottman, PhD, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington. To make marriage work, he says, you only need to know this ratio: 5 to 1. For every negative interaction�a complaint, a disagreement, an outright argument�there must be at least five positive interactions�a compliment, a smile, a touch, a shared laugh, a favor, a reference to a happy event, an expression of gratitude, and so on. By offering simple acts of kindness, a couple creates what Gottman calls "emotional money in the bank," currency they need to repair the relationship after a conflict. Simple ways to go positive: Kiss hello and good-bye, thank each other, be loyal, and let the little things go. Put the romance back into your life The usual dinner-and-a-movie date, it turns out, doesn't serve married couples very well. It gives you a chance to reconnect. If what you want from date night is a way to fall in love all over again, though, Saturday night after Saturday night at the movies has nothing to offer you, research says. Try an entirely different kind of date. According to Arthur Aron, the State University of New York professor of social psychology who conducted the research, new experiences flood the brain with dopamine and norepinephrine, the same chemicals that are implicated in early romantic love. For married couples, simply doing new things together�trying a new food, visiting a new place, or one of the other suggestions in 10 Ways to Shake Up Date Night�can re-create the chemical surges of new love.