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Sneezing is no longer regarded as a sign of �good luck�, but a palpable manifestation of swine flu. There is now some awareness and whenever someone sneezes in public, others immediately take cover. Some are even a trifle melodramatic about it, and go �dodging� under tables, so as not to get infected. In certain places, the awareness has become so pervasive that you are not permitted to show signs of cold, catarrh or dripping nose, lest you are branded as suffering from �pig disease� and avoided like a plague. Gone are the days when somebody sneezed and everyone wished him good luck. Today, make the mistake of sneezing, and you�ll be asked to quarantine yourself. A gentleman was said to have sneezed with all his might, in a passenger Benz bus that was traveling from Accra to Tema and some passengers forced the driver to stop the vehicle. They promptly got down and ran way, afraid to be infected. The way the man was reported to have sneezed, probably showed that it was no ordinary liberation of nasal content. It was an indication that his nose was diseased and in a bus where people sat next to one another, a swine influenza infection will not be too difficult to pass round. So the passengers decided that enough was enough! I can well imagine how this man sneezed and was nearly mistaken for a terrorist. Some people sneeze as if they wouldn�t have another chance to sneeze again. They put their entire energy and being into the sneezing act and when it is finally executed, it comes with some seismic effect. In other words, it precipitates a mini-earthquake, measurable on the open-ended Richter Scale. I think it is one of such tsunamic sneezes that frightened the passengers to compel the driver to stop the bus or face revo action. And the driver was a practical respecter of human rights, and did their bid. Of course, if people wanted to protect the right of their noses, who was he, a common driver to refuse? Yeah, people are getting more and more frightened and that is understandable. From two positive cases, we hear the number of positives has now risen to eight. The problem is not with the known cases. It is with the unknown cases. How many infected persons are roaming the markets sneezing �by-heartically�, donating the slimy virus to unsuspecting persons? That is the question of the day. Sadly though, people are these days avoiding even handshakes. Of course, they cannot figure out where your fingers have been prior to you offering your hand for a shake. May be, your finger was in an infected nose, so by extension, your hand has become a problem. So why should anyone shake your hand? Situations are such that even common cold victims are regarded as swine flu suspects. People also joke about it, though. After attending a seminar on �attitudes�, I returned to the office to find my Secretary sneezing, whereupon I asked her to discipline her nose. �Your nose has the wrong attitude, �I said. �Don�t spread swine flu in this department.� Of course, that was a joke. I have not monitored her nasal attitude since but by Ghanaian standards, she is still a �suspect� until proven otherwise. Now, this swine flu business has come at a rather bad time when the weather is cold in Ghana and many people have developed common flu, and are sneezing their lungs out. Today, people are scared of their fellow beings who are on sneezing sprees and are terrified of pork. Pork sales have dwindled considerably and �domedo� (spicy fried port) is plentiful without buyers. But people have got it all wrong. Swine flu is not home to cooked or fried pork, so �domedo� fans better come to terms with this point of order. For some people, �domedo� is a life-long addition. Nothing can stop them from eating it even if it is banned. They are called the true believers who are ever loyal to their stomachs and to the pig. Faith in �domedo� is more or less the beginning of a religion. Now, swine flu is a latter-day saint! It is like Peter preceding Paul. Before swine flu came, there was bird flu, scientifically termed avian flu. It made people see chicken as public enemy number one. Ghanaians fear death and that is a nice attitude. Ghanaians do not behave like the foolish dog that saw fire and walked into it. In any crisis, the Ghanaian will first run for cover and watch from faraway. The common rooster (cock) says that, �To fear danger amount to long life.� The physical longevity of the Ghanaian begins from the heart; the spiritual longevity from the church-room. Ghanaians are faithful to God and worship with zeal and passion. One of the places the swine flu can spread is in the church. There, people gather to commune and supplicate their Creator. They sing the loudest in church and there is no official ban on sneezing in church. The only consolation is that in the House of God, the Holy Spirit can protect. So Christians need not fear going to worship, swine flu or not. I like one borborbor song that has the following lyrics, �The Lord Jesus is in our midst.� It inspires me and when there is danger in from, or behind me, I tell myself, �Kwame Alomele, the Lord is near, do not be afraid.� I cherish my newly found desire in the scriptures. Man is growing and cannot afford to be straying. Even stray dogs eventually find their way home. For some of us, we must perpetually be grateful for being alive. If it had not been for the Lord, we�d have long left the earth. For those who want to sneeze, and sneeze freely, I recommend Sundays and public holidays. These are the days there can be no departmental complaints. E-mail: [email protected] or www.merarialomele.