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Earlier in the week, a very good lady friend of mine called to complain about the unsatisfactory behavior of her boyfriend. She told me that the guy always keeps on repeating behavior that she did not like and that the more she complained the more the behavior worsened. I assured the lady that everything would be alright after I give the guy a call. I call the guy to hear his side of the matter. He also complained bitterly about the fact that the lady always keeps on pinpointing his faults. He indicated that he can go out of his way and do a plethora of good deeds but woe betides him if he commits one mistake. That mistake will overshadow all the positives and he will be subjected to several hours of complains and criticisms. Being fed up he decided then to behave exactly in the manner the girlfriend complained about because he was fed up. It then occurred to me that my friends were not getting the best out of each other. Human beings by our very nature tend to notice the wrong things first before the right things. This is normal because any behavior which does not fall in line with the expected stands out. A problem occurs if we focus too much on the negatives. There are certain things ladies must do in a relationship if they are to get the best out of their men. 1. THE BEHAVIOUR YOU REWARD IS WHAT IS REPEATED. Men generally love to be praised. A lady who praises her man for doing right things stands a better chance of getting him to repeat those good behaviors. A reward may be in the form of a compliment or a simple note appreciating him for what he did or simple gift. This will surely lift up his spirit and urge him to do more. Words of praise get to men. Let me however indicate that too many praises can get to the head and he may take things for granted. The key thing is for him to feel appreciated for doing the right thing. It is very difficult to do the right things lately and one should be praised for doing the right things. 2. CRITICISE HIM CONSTRUCTIVELY. Man is imperfect and it is therefore expected that he may fall short of the standard. If he commits an error for the first time, it might be better if you intentionally overlook it. He might want to make up for the error in the near future. If repeated, draw his attention to it. The problem most of the time is the way and manner the attention is drawn. When a man does something and it is not right, don�t start by criticizing him. Appreciate the effort he put into doing it first before drawing his attention to the fact that he could have done it in another way. End by again appreciating his effort. The impression he gets is that �OK I did good, but I can do better.� 3. NEVER DISCLOSE HIS SECRETS OR MISTAKES IN AN ARGUMENT. I must admit that during a heated argument, blood runs hot and thought is most often not well controlled. Confidential information shared with you should nevertheless be brought out in a heated argument. A lady who makes that unfortunate mistake gives the man the freedom to recoil into his shell. This has negative consequences for the relationship. A man feels secured to share his secrets if he knows very well that he can trust the recipient not to disclose it under any conditions. In getting your man to be at his best in a relationship, have the habit of always highlighting his strengths while wisely and gently point out his shortcomings.