<<Print>>

Last week, I had the unpleasant duty of telling you about a very boring show on Viasat 1. To be fair to the television station, I will balance the equation today by telling you about a show on the same channel which is the exact opposite of the �Bore a minute� show. �The Teju Babyface show� is the programme I refer to. It�s a show that is not only entertaining, but also very enlightening. Although its original target was for a Nigerian audience, the host, with his production team, makes it easy for any English-speaking African to enjoy. It is a show I will never miss for any other. Try watching it and I promise you would never regret you did. I pat the management of the station on the back for the show. But I, once again, implore them to do something about the �Bore a minute� show. Even if it means taking the host to Nigeria to learn some new tricks from Teju and Basket Mouth, why not? But I wonder if the joker who calls himself comedian would agree to go to Nigeria and learn from professionals. You see, that is one of the traits of a joker. A joker always deludes himself into believing that he is very competent. He ignores wise counsel and engages in mediocrity. Even when it is clear to all that he is an amateur, he will not hesitate to roar that he is a professional. Talking about professionals: Did you see how professionally the police handled the hoodlums who stopped Nana Konadu from saying �thank you� to members of the 31st December Women�s Movement in the Central Region? The police did not arrest the cutlass-wielding hoodlums because, according them, what happened was an intra-party affair. By their action, is the Police Service telling us one can engage in any criminal act and go scot-free, so long as it is an intra-party affair? Is IGP Paul Tawiah Quaye telling us he has now legitimized criminality? If that is the case, I have a very professional advice for armed robbers or wannabes. It is very simple: Armed Robbers should wear umbrella-embossed T-shirts before going for any operation. If they run out of luck and the Police appear on the scene, they should simply point to the T-shirt and tell the Police it�s an intra-party affair. That, I�m very sure, will guarantee their freedom. Same professional advice goes for rapists and other criminals. Wear an umbrella-embossed T-shirt and commit all manner of crimes. When caught, simply point to the T-shirt and scream �it�s an intra-party affair�, and that will be your ticket to freedom. Hey, unfold your sleeves, my compatriot; I�m not ready to trade blows with anyone. I�m only a professional offering professional advice to my clientele. Is that a crime? But I�m scared. I�m very scared that our professional Police Service might arrest and charge me with the dreaded fear and panic decree. Why? Of course, you know why. I do not fancy umbrella-embossed T-shirts so commenting on issues involving Akatamansonians might not be regarded as an intra-party affair. You get the drift, don�t you? By the way, I�m sure you heard the tale involving the Kookooase Kurasini Deputy Minister and the eight police personnel. Once again, our professional Police Service acted swiftly and professionally by interdicting one of the eight police personnel. His crime is that he arrested the foul-mouthed deputy minister for overspeeding. The deputy minister tried to show his �krakye� powers and it led to an altercation with the Police Corporal. Fuming with anger, the deputy minister called the IGP and reported that the police officer had called him �stupid�. That was his crime, Abusuapanin! Knowing the deputy minister for who he is, it is almost impossible for me to believe his story. What did he say to provoke the policeman, if indeed he did utter the stupid word? But hey, it is the minister�s word against that of the poor policeman. The irony of it all is that the deputy minister is even guiltier of the crime he accused the policeman of. But I do understand the situation quite well. Both the oppressor and the oppressed will tell their stories; but the oppressor�s story will always carry more weight than the oppressed�s. As I pondered the fate of the poor policeman, I remembered what Matigari told a priest in Ngugi Wa Thiongo�s political satire titled �Matigari�: �The Father in heaven, why did He create a world that was so upside-down? A world in which those who sow evil reap good, and those who sow good reap evil?� It then dawned on me that in a world dominated by jokers, the powerful few will always be above the law, while the masses will always be under it. Where is the president who claims to be father-for-all? Where are the so-called religious and social organizations which claim to be fighting for the downtrodden? Perhaps, they too are nothing but jokers! With the Police Command and the deputy minister abusing their powers and infringing the right of the poor policeman, one cannot help but ask; where is truth and justice? All the Police Corporal seeks is truth and justice. But I wonder if he, or anybody, can ever get truth and justice in the land of jokers. I�m not sure if you are familiar with the Joker game. The Jester, which is the Joker, is always the wild card. And that is the last card in my hand. After dropping it, I guess today�s konkonsa is over! See you next week!