JUST FOR LAUGHS:I'm A Boko Haram Suicide Bomber

I am in Abuja to see my uncle. Exactly 8am the secretary told me to come back by 2pm dat Oga is not around so I've to hang ard till 2pm, by 1pm I'm so hungry cos I've not eat since mrg & I'm left with N200 & I'm unable to get a Local canteen to eat Fufu or Eba. All I'm seeing is big hotels, My eye begin to turn fast so I decided to find solution. In my front their is a powerful 5 star hotel so I clean my ruff shoe adjust myself & enter D hotel. At D lobby the waiter ask me are U here to see somebody or you want to lodge in? I said my name is Star & Im lodging, he told me d least room is 47k per night I said no problem this place is lovely just like the hotel I slept yesterday in Dubai on my way frm United states he says thank U sir. I asked can I pay in hard currency cus I've not changed my dollars, he told me no probs. Ok where is ur restaurant I need 2 eat 1st, he leads me to the restaurant & he told D chef to treat me well & that I just got back from US! The chef welcomes me & gave me Menu list, I order 4 Pounded yam, Efo riro, Snail & catfish! D chef told me it will be ready in 30min time. I ask for D bar so I can step down b4 d food's ready, he pointed @ d executive bar mainly for VIP's, I requested for assorted pepper soup,spanish red wine, I drank 2 bottles of d wine & 2plate of soup and d bill is 34k, I move on to eat my food & d bill for food is 40k cos I collected extra plate, total is 74k & I've N200, sweat begins to come out of my face despite the A/C, they begin 2 suspect that I don't have money so D security & staff begin to gather around me, I said to my self 'STAR what can I do oo? I dial my phone no on my 2nd phone, I pick & say 'yes Mallam, the bomb is still with me and will explode in the next 2minutes' and I shouted I'm proud to be suicide bomber! B4 I drop my phone I couldn't see anybody in the hotel again even on the street! Who wan die?